The Piano
by RomanticizedRebel
Summary: A piano is a symbol of all that Special Agent Tony DiNozzo has lost, but becomes his solace. Includes different instances where the team hears him play. I LOVE REVIEWS. Hurt/Comfort Tony - Ch. 4 is Abby Centric.
1. Chapter 1

It had been a hard case.

They were dealing with the death of a marine. He was killed in a bar fight, stabbed six times in the chest. He had been drunk at the time. Not an uncommon demise.

However, when the team traveled to the man's home on routine procedure, they made a horrific discovery.

The NCIS team found the body of the marine's son in the kitchen. The eight-year-old boy died after falling off a counter. He had hit his head, causing his skull to fracture and brain to swell. Nobody had been there to save him – his father was too busy drowning his sorrows at local bars. He had been gone for a week, not returning once to check up on his child. He had been doing this for a few years, apparently. Ever since the boy's mother had committed suicide two years prior.

It was sad. Heart-breaking. Tragic. Senseless. It was all too familiar to Special Agent Tony DiNozzo.

Tony trudged into his apartment at 23:00 on Thursday. It was dark. He flipped on the lights. Better- fewer memories hid in the light.

However, even the bright lamps mixed with the pristine, comforting interior of his bachelor pad weren't enough comfort. The images kept flooding his mind.

_Anthony DiNozzo Jr. was eight, and almost all set to leave for school. He went to his mother's room to say goodbye, as he did every day. She wasn't there- an uncommon occurrence. Usually, she wasn't out of bed before lunch._

_He scampered through the halls of his mother's quarters, heading to the second most likely place she'd be - her piano room. Opening the door slowly, he froze at what he saw._

_His mother's lifeless body was crumpled at the foot of her piano bench. Her arm was outstretched, firmly gripping an empty bottle of pills. Rolling away from her other hand was a half full bottle of whiskey._

Tony blinked back the memory as he stripped off his coat and shoes. The black fabric and hard leather fell to the floor with a soft swish and two loud clunks.

He slowly trudged forward towards the centerpiece of the room

The beautiful black baby grand piano sat there, taunting him.

More memories invaded his mind.

_His mother effortlessly flying through a piece that the best pianists in the world would have struggled with._

_His mom smiling at him as he played Ave Maria flawlessly for her._

_His mom holding his hand after firing the piano teacher who had been hitting his knuckles with a ruler. The teacher had been his father's choice, naturally._

_His mom teaching him Mozart, Chopin, and then some pop music. Swing. Jazz._

_His mom, sitting at the piano, tears leaking from her beautiful green eyes. Playing something slow and sad. Holding his face. Whispering to him as she clutched him to her breast, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."_

Tony once again chased away the memories. The piano jeered at him. At the same time, he felt it calling to him.

_He wasn't really sure why he had bought it. It had been at a yard sale he saw on his way to work- an old baby grand. Something had struck him about it. A beautiful instrument, just flung aside. He couldn't get his mind off it through the day. When he headed home, he decided to stop by._

_He walked up to an older woman who was packing up the objects left unsold and folding the tables. "How much for the piano?"_

_She turned to him. "It's free, if you want it. Just figure out a way to get it out of here."_

_Tony tried futilely to get the woman to accept some money for it, but she wasn't having any of it. "Nonsense. I don't have any use for it- I don't play. My husband was the pianist. I just hope you enjoy it as much as he did." She paused, examining his face. "Besides, you look like you need something to cheer you up."_

_A few hours later, the piano sat in his once bare living room. He had used a rag and some oil to buff shine back into the black wood. He hadn't minded- there was something he liked about wiping away years of scratches and marks to reveal the piano's beauty. _

He hadn't played it, and it had been three years since he brought it home. It was about the time that Kate had died when he got it.

Now, he sat down on the bench of the piano. He glanced his fingers across the keys. He remembered the names of the keys, but didn't know if he remembered how to play. He had been very good when he was eight. He practiced constantly, and had been playing from the time that he was two. However, he hadn't touched a piano since the day he found his mother lying dead underneath hers.

With barely enough pressure to create a sound, he pressed E.

He jerked his hand back as if shocked.

Then, he put his fingers back on the keys

E. E. E. E.

He listened to the clear and beautiful sound that erupted from his piano. He put his other hand on the piano.

E, E flat, E, E flat, E, B D, C, A.

He clumsily plunked out the notes that opened Beethoven's famous Fur Elise, plodding through the beginning of the song. He was surprised at how quickly the music came back to him. He had practiced this song thousands of times. He didn't even have to try as it came to him naturally.

The last notes quickly morphed into a beautiful and sad melody - something by Mozart, he thought.

Tony continued to play,. Cars flew past outside his window. The moon rose higher and higher in the sky. He didn't even care when the energy-saving lights in his apartment turned themselves off, leaving him in the dark. The moonlight was more than adequate. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the music.

His long fingers flew gracefully across the keys at the end of a concerto. After he finished, he rested his head against the edge of the piano. The moonlight felt like it was caressing his face. Almost like his mother's hands had whenever he got hurt, or when his father said something to him. For the first time in 25 years, he felt her in the room with him.

For the first time in 25 years, he let tears for his mother roll down his cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

_It was March 6, 2009. A beautiful spring day in Washington, D.C. The weather was clear, there were almost no clouds in the sky, and it was warm outside._

_It was so, so, wrong._

_Gibbs called the team into MTAC. Tony and McGee hustled up the stairs as fast as they could, wanting to hear whatever Gibbs had to say. Was it possible they had finally heard from Ziva? Had she contacted them from the Damocles?_

_Tony and McGee slowed to a walk and opened the door of MTAC, moving in next to Gibbs. Gibbs was standing next Vance, facing an image of a ship sinking on the screen. He turned to Tony and McGee. _

"_The Damocles went down in a storm months ago. There were no survivors."_

Those words tore a knife through Tony's chest.

There were no survivors.

_No_ survivors.

Not even Ziva_._

The days passed in a blur around Tony. Business lost all meaning.

He didn't know what he felt for Ziva. Regardless, she was his best friend and now she was gone. Even then, the confusion of that relationship was better than the nothingness he felt now.

Every day, he'd go through the cases with Gibbs and McGee, not really seeing what happened. Names, addresses, crime scenes and interrogations whirred by. The team would solve the case. He would pretend to be his normal self, laughing though he felt empty. Every night, he'd stumble into his apartment, sit down at the piano, and play. It was the only time he felt real, like there was any clarity in his head.

Only Ducky noticed that something was off with Tony. The others had preoccupied themselves with the cases to deal with the loss of Ziva. Tony, while doing his job, was unfocused. Ducky was concerned- her being gone seemed to hit Tony harder than anyone else.

He decided to go into the young man's apartment. As he walked down Tony's hall, he heard a sad song softly sounding through the apartment complex. He was surprised when he heard it loudest behind Tony's door. He pressed his ear to it, curious.

A uncomplicated but beautiful melody came from behind it. The door budged slightly- Tony hadn't shut it.

He silently pushed the door open and peered in.

He was shocked to see the Senior Field agent at the piano, softly playing and singing quietly to himself.

_Would you know my name__  
__If I saw you in heaven?__  
__Would you feel the same__  
__If I saw you in heaven?__  
__I must be strong and carry on__  
__'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven__  
_

Ducky was amazed. He knew that Tony had a good voice and some musical background. He remembered Tony playing the guitar undercover. However, he had no idea Tony even played the piano, much less had this kind of ability. He must've been improvising the piano - the original piece had been on guitar.

_Would you hold my hand__  
__If I saw you in heaven?__  
__Would you help me stand__  
__If I saw you in heaven?__  
__I'll find my way through night and day__  
__'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven_

Tony raised his face towards the skylight in his apartment, and Ducky saw the agent's face contort as he plunged into the climax of the song. His fingers skillfully flew across the keys and he almost whispered the lyrics.

_Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees__  
__Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please_

_Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure__  
__And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven__  
_

Tony leaned down, resting his forehead on the edge of the piano as he quietly finished the piece.

_Would you know my name__  
__If I saw you in heaven?__  
__Would you feel the same__  
__If I saw you in heaven?__  
__I must be strong and carry_ on  
Cause_ I know I don't belong here in heaven_

Tony closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Ducky was about to make his presence known when he heard a soft snore.

Tony was asleep.

**The song was Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton-**

**Just a note- I love reviews (positive or negative), feedback, and the wonderful people who leave them!**


	3. Chapter 3

Gibbs was furious.

Oddly enough, it wasn't with his Senior Field Agent.

It was the Director.

Director Jenny Shepard had assigned Tony to an undercover operation. His mission: to meet and seduce Dr. Jeanne Benoit, a beautiful young doctor and daughter of arms dealer La Grenouillie.

Tony was successful in the operation, but had developed feelings for Jeanne. A stupid mistake, but understandable. When the Director saw that this was happening, she didn't pull Tony out. She was too preoccupied with her own personal vendetta against The Frog. She didn't care that Tony was in too deep.

Jeanne left Tony a note, asking him to choose between her and NCIS, his family, when she found out who he was.

He chose NCIS.

Then, to make matters worse, Jeanne showed up and accused him of murder, of which he was eventually proved innocent.

After everything that happened, Tony should have been furious with Jeanne. He had every right to want her to hurt. However, he did something that Gibbs didn't know if he himself would have wanted to do, or could have done.

Tony told Jeanne, a woman Gibbs knew he cared for, the one he spent over a year dating while undercover, that none of it- their relationship- was real. He unselfishly set her free and made a clean break.

Jenny hadn't even given him a day off after all this, completely disregarding Tony's feelings in her jubilance over The Frog's death.

Gibbs was really going to tear the Director a new one.

First, however, he had to make sure Tony was okay.

He quickly ascended the stairs to his SFA's apartment. He quietly opened the door with the key Tony gave him when he first started working at NCIS. Silently moving into the den, Gibbs stayed hidden in the shadows of the unlit room.

Tony sat at a large baby grand piano. The agent's head was bowed as he fingered a few keys on the keyboard. There were large bags under his eyes, attesting to his lack of sleep. The normally chipper man was deeply upset.

Gibbs was about to speak up when Tony played a scale.

Gibbs was surprised, though he would never admit it. He knew Tony could play the guitar, but was unaware that he could play the piano at all. Tony sighed and folded his hands in his lap. Gibbs wondered if the scale was just something from childhood piano lessons.

His doubts were vanquished when Tony played a chord, followed a soft melody.

Gibbs was shocked when Tony's voice rang out, softly but clearly. His baritone complimented the song, which Gibbs recognized as something he had heard on the radio when driving with the team.

_Did I disappoint you,_

_Or let you down?_

_Should I be feeling guilty, or let the judges frown?_

'_Cause I saw the end, before we begun._

_Yes I saw you were blinded, and I knew I had won._

Tony continued the piece, filling out the music where other instruments would have been.

Gibbs closed his eyes and sighed.

Tony was singing about Jeanne.

_So I took what's mine, by eternal right. I took your soul out, into the night._

_It may be over, but I won't stop there._

_I am here for you, if you'd only care._

Gibbs heard what Tony was communicating through the song. He would be there, ready to open Jeanne with open arms should she want to come back. He felt a flash of pain shoot through his chest.

_You touched my heart, you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew  
When my heart was blinded by you.  
I've kissed your lips and held your head.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you._

Tony sang slightly louder with the music's crescendos. Jeannie's face bored into his mind. She had been all he thought about outside of work. He was, in fact, addicted to her. What should have been days of sleep-deprivation and gathering intel turned into some of the happiest of his life.

Gibbs understood what Tony was singing. He hadn't meant to fall for Jeanne. When he did, what he wanted from life and what his dreams were all temporarily changed.

_Goodbye my Lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

_I am a dreamer and when I wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,_

_Remember us, and all we used to be_

Tony's voice was pleading. Gibbs stomach twisted. Tony was begging for Jeanne to remember him. Tony clearly felt that Jeanne was the only person who understood _him_. Regardless of not knowing _what _he was, she knew _who _he was.

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you._

Gibbs reeled back, stunned. Tony was earnest – He would happily spend a lifetime with The Frog's lovely daughter.

Tony was in love. His stubborn, foolish, womanizing, flirtatious, commitment-phobic Agent was in love.

_And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bear my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet._

Tony closed his eyes and sang the last lines of the song. His voice actually did sound hollow. The pain in his heart was evident on his face.

_I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow._

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

The song cut of as sharply as Tony's relationship with Jeanne did

His gaze fixated on the gleaming black wood of the piano, and he took a deep breath.

Tony continued to stare at the piano, not noticing Gibbs who quietly slipped out the door.

Gibbs got in his car and floored it. He was headed to Jenny's home.

Tony- a man who was like his son – had been in love for the first time in over 10 years. Like his first love, it had ended suddenly and painfully.

Jenny was the reason for his pain.

She was going to pay.

_Thanks for reading- review, review, review! There will be more._

_These will not be in chronological order. I'm skipping around._

_The song was Goodbye My Lover by the marvelous James Blunt._

_I don't own NCIS._


	4. Chapter 4

**This one's a little more light-hearted. Set sometime after Tony's conversation with the Chaplain in the chapel- More Abby-Centric**

Abby Scutio tiptoed through the doors of Saint Mary's Catholic Church as well as she could manage in her 4-inch platform boots. It was a rainy Saturday night, and she was headed for a vigil mass. Normally, she attended Sunday morning with the nuns who she bowled with. However, a rather nasty case of stomach flu had swept through the convent, leaving her unaccompanied for church. Utilizing the rare opportunity of solitude, she decided to go to her favorite evening service.

As she stepped into the oak doors of the cathedral, she shook the rain droplets off of her pigtails. Her black bangs were plastered to her forehead. The black lace umbrella she carried was pretty, but not very effective against the rain.

The amiable priest who was about to lead the procession down the aisle turned to her and grinned. "Ciao, Ab-ee-gale. How nice to see you at my service for a change," he trilled in a lilting Italian accent.

She smiled back at him. "Good to see you too, Father Micelli."

The deacon tried to get Father Micelli's attention that it was time to proceed down the aisle. The elderly priest put his hands up. "It can wait for a moment. I am sure God is going nowhere- and will be willing to wait so I can catch up with our lovely Signora Scutio." The long-suffering deacon sighed with resignation, signaling the altar boys to wait.

"Now, how are things at your NCIS?" the priest questioned.

"There good- amazing actually! You should come and visit me in forensics. I was looking into the forensics of transubstantiation, and-" She trailed off, though Father Micelli still smiled at her. "Right- we'll catch up after mass. Anything new?"

"Oh, not much. One of our acolytes went off to college, so we are searching for a new one, and we have a new pianist for this service - a talented one if I say so myself." He nodded to the deacon, signaling that they should proceed. "We shall catch up later, bella."

Abby grinned and hurried down the side aisle to her front-row seat.

She stoically sat through the opening procession, though Father winked at her as he took his place on the altar. She enjoyed the readings- the story of the Prodigal Son was always her favorite.

The homily was excellent, as always. Father Micelli mixed seriousness with humor, and had the entire church rolling with laughter when he cracked a joke about a little boy who tried to blackmail Jesus. After finishing his sermon, he ended with his customary line – _"Just remember. You are human. Aiutati che Dio ti aiuta."_

He paused for a moment. "We have a new pianist-" He grinned. "A fellow Italian. I had him select a few songs to play so you can listen to him rather than me for the rest of the mass… and with his heritage, he is obviously a talented musician."

The congregation chuckled at this.

"Anyways, for tonight, we shall listen. Reflect, if you will- or at least pretend to. Tentar non nuoce."

This was why Abby loved this mass so much- Father Micelli was honest, and human. He wasn't afraid to "Stray from the script" to reach his "_Gregge_."

He backed up and took his chair, and nodded towards the choir loft.

A soft, familiar melody rang from the loft. Abby closed her eyes and listened to the familiar chords being played. Abby grinned up at Father Micelli- Naturally, the first song would be an Italian one.

A male cantor's voice rang out.

Ave Maria,

Gratia plena.

Maria, gratia plena,

Maria, gratia plena.

Ave Ave Dominus

Dominus tecum.

Benedicta tu in mulieribus,

Et benedictus

Et benedictus fructus ventris

Ventris tui, Iesus.

Ave Maria.

The pianist then launched into a jazzy rendition of Amazing Grace while the wind howled around the church. The pianist changed up the music, making it simultaneously sound joyful and sad.

Abby offered up a silent prayer for her teammates, as she always did.

_Um, hi, God. Sorry, I know I don't really talk to you enough- but things get super-duper busy, like with forensics, and the team, and the cases, and all the nuns who have the stomach flu- oh, help them get better too, please, and- Sorry. My bad. I even ramble in my head. I should really cut back on the CafPows. _She wrinkled her nose. _Probably won't, though._

_Anyways, could you keep my three Muskateers, Ducky, Jimmy, and Gibbs safe? They're my family._

She paused a moment

_But especially Tony- he's been down lately. Like, I don't know if you've noticed, but he's been acting normal. And - you know, Tony doesn't act normal. He's always so hyper, but now he's calm. He needs to be hyper or something. Anyways, thanks._

Amazing grace came to a close and she returned to the church mentally. Father Micelli stood up for a moment.

"This last one may raise some eyebrows, but I assure you, I approved it. It is really a wonderful song, especially in the way our new friend has prepared it."

Abby wondered what he could mean, when the cantor began to sing, and the sound of snapping began.

"_I'm gonna make a change…"_

The whole congregation began to laugh. The song was Man in the Mirror.

Then, they all hushed as the piano began to joyfully accompany it.

It was _phenomenal._

The pianist began to weave in the background, mixing in notes from familiar spiritual songs. Amazing Grace was there, along with Glory, Hallelujah, and even Taps.

By the final chorus, everyone in the church was clapping and singing.

_I'm starting with the man in the mirror.  
I'm asking him to change his ways._

_No message could've been any clearer-_

_If you wanna make the world a better place,_

_Take a look at yourself and make a change._

The applause was so loud and long that finally Father Micelli had to shout the final blessing over the roar "Go in PEACE to LOVE AND SERVE the LORD!"

As the congregation filed out, Abby ran up to Father Micelli.

"Ohmygosh- who on earth is that pianist!? I mean, really, normally I don't listen to much besides, like metal, like the Hash-n-Slash and Three Day Gore, and stuff, but that was _so good_!"

Father Micelli smiled and pointed to the back of the church. A dark figure was making his way down the stairs from the choir loft, ducking and trying to go unnoticed. Abby hurried to the back, closely tailed by Father. She laid a hand on the man's shoulder. He froze.

"Hey, um you were like, really, really, good. Like better-than-the-Slashing Crows-good."

The man turned slowly. _"…Abby?"_

She gasped. "TONY!?"

**I don't own NCIS.**

**The songs were Ave Maria by Luciano Pavarotti, and Man In the Mirror by Michael Jackson.**

**Italian words-**

**Ciao- Hello**

**Signora- Mrs.**

**Aiutati che Dio ti aiuta- God helps those who help themselves.**

**Tentar non nuoce – It's worth a shot.**

**Gregge- Flock**


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